coney island of the mind

Welcome to the Big City.

"The true New Yorker secretly believes that anyone living anywhere else has got to be, in some sense, kidding."
-John Updike

"But it's the truth even if it didn't happen."
-Ken Kesey

"I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."
-George Bernard Shaw


quotes i love
9/11 writings


favorite entries
wish i didn't miss you
letter to myself
bold as love
you're excused
spring in harlem
zack & my purse
the old place
leap and the net will appear


friends, et al
big bad cat
bj's porno-crazed ramblings
like an orb*
post-nuclear art*
tequila mockingbird
* = photography site


best horoscope evah
Bill's latest review

nyc bloggers
i heart NY
< N Y Journalers ? >
<< ? Verbosity # >>
< ? blogs by women # >

< ? ameriBLOGs # >

Saturday, February 15, 2003
shopping for The Streak

I think I'm leaning toward fire engine red.

Wednesday, February 12, 2003
Quote of the Week

"You're always saying that you can't write. You tell me that every time you come. I'm sick of hearing it. What's more, I don't believe it. Maybe you can't write as you would like to write, but write you can! Even an idiot can learn how to write, if he sticks to it long enough."

I am having this tattooed on my right forearm so I can see it everytime I'm sitting with my pen poised over my notebook telling myself I can't do this anymore (which has been happening a lot lately).

Thank you, Henry Miller, you smart, smart little literary horndog.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003
this is what happens when I don't meditate for an entire year

I can't concentrate. I should go to the gym. Maybe tomorrow night after work. No, my gym clothes are all dirty. When can I do laundry? Did I forget to watch Road Rules/Real World last night? Fuck, I did forget! I wonder who got kicked off. When can I do laundry so I can go the gym? Maybe tomorrow during the day? No, that won't work. After work tomorrow. But then can I go to the gym on Thursday? I hate going during the day. I wonder if those cupcakes at home are stale. Damn, my apartment is a mess. When I can I clean it up? Do I have stuff at the dry cleaner? That guy from school hasn't called me back to say he got my financial aid stuff. Am I gonna be able to get my Brooklyn College recommendation in by the end of this month? I have to ask Natalie for a recommendation and I haven't emailed her in months. She probably won't care. I need to buy new shoes by next week. I should ask Sean for a recommendation, too. Is this enough time? I can't nudge Natalie if she takes too long. Maybe I should go to then Zendo tomorrow morning. I have to be down in the Village in the morning anyway to get my happy pills. Then I have to dash up to the west side by 12:15 to see the shrinky dink, so by 1 I'll be out and I can go buy some shoes. I should go to and see who got kicked off last night. Did I take my pill? How many more expenses do I have to finish before Friday? I'm so glad I'm off on Monday. God, I need my roots done. My hair is a fucking mess. Where will put all my books in my new place? I'll have to buy bookcases. The shelves I have can't come with me. Can I afford bookcases? Maybe from Ikea. Ikea is crap, though. Why can't I fucking stand still? I cannot stand still.

Are those cupcakes at home stale?

This is my mind Every. Fucking. Day. lately.

New apartment? Check.
Gym? Check.
New food plan? Almost check.

Back to zendo? Yeah. I think so.

Monday, February 10, 2003
Questions You Can Help Answer

Will I be able to write for the next 8 months with no school and no deadlines?

Will Violet be totally forgotten?

Will I ever take pictures with film again?

Am I already bored with my digital camera?

<nudge> Will I ever have a photography webpage? </nudge>

Exactly how many times a week is too many to buy Magnolia Bakery Cupcakes?

Will I be able to sign a lease with my new, not-finished-being-built apartment before my current lease ends in March?

Will I really and truly actually get to LIVE in a 2 bedroom apartment with hardwood floors in an elevator building with a gym and a laundry room on premises?

Will I be on the morning rush hour subway when terrorists blow it up sometime very soon?

Is 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.1 speed and a 3.0 incline, 15 minutes on a the bike, and 10 minutes on the pedals-you-move-with-your-arms thing good for a gym beginner? Too much? Not enough?

Do people wears towels in the gym sauna like they do on TV, or are they really naked?

What is the difference between the steam room and the sauna? How long should I stay in each one?

Do you think it's gross when you see someone leave the gym without showering? (We're talking just a workout here - no steam/sauna activity)

Will all those women recognize me on the street in my purple pimp-daddy coat with the huge purple faux fur collar and whisper to each other, "That's that stank-ass, crazy white bitch who don't shower before leaving the gym! And that's the stank-ass coat she puts on over her stank-ass workout clothes!"

Am I the only living human who has issues about showering at the gym and walking around all naked-like?

Will seeing random women from my hood and their naked boobies and booties in the gym locker room have any long-term affects on my psychologically?

I probably shouldn't eat a Magnolia Bakery cupcake as soon as I get home from the gym, right?

Exactly what percentage of my income will I be spending on household items for my new apartment at
Pearl River Mart?

Is it inappropriate to dress a friend's newborn white female child entirely in these?

Will I scare young children with my 3 inch long black roots before Glory can save me from myself on Saturday?

Is it crazy to get my hair done on the east side on Saturday afternoon, come all the way back up and across town to my gym to get my ID picture taken on the one day every six - eight weeks when I look fabulous, and go all the way back down and across town to the east side to have dinner with friends on Saturday night? Friends whose apartment is three blocks from my hairdresser?

Is it too early in the year to wear baby blue pants?

Should I go to Rikki's house on Sunday and subject her to my Oz misery?

Do you have any idea how much I love how much snow we've gotten this year?

Should I get a red, blue, pink or purple streak in my hair this time?

Will I ever return the 3 Netflix movies (Big Eden, Head On and Mulholland Drive) that I've had out since October?

Will I get to the Zeigfeld to see Chicago before it leaves?

Did you know they are making a movie out of one of my favorite books of all time, A Home at the End of the World?

Wanna see some pictures?



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